One Day In Suburbia

by Paul Exton

"And notice how deep this lovely bin is! And with its length you can put whole stalks of celery in here and it will keep for weeks!" The woman smiled broadly and dipped her bouffant- haired head over the milky white, rectangular, plastic storage container. "This largest one can hold the medium one, and the smaller one fits inside that one for easy storage! And as always, all are freezer safe."

The assembled women nodded and began to murmur among themselves.

"Now, look at this lovely salt and pepper set, complete with its own handy carrier," she droned nasally as she gestured, then licked her blood-red lips and resumed. "These are particularly good for picnics and barbecues, especially since they are unbreakable. You will find..." The woman paused as the front door slammed and a man's voice pierced the air.

"Hi, honey! I got everything finished early, so I caught an earlier flight! Boy, am I glad I didn't have to stay another day, because..." The man stopped short as he entered the living room and gasped as he saw the sprawling array of kitchenware. He hunched over, shaking, as hair sprouted from the hands covering his face. Low growls pierced the stunned silence of the room. The hunched figure dropped his clawed hands revealing a dark, snub nose, feral red eyes and a snarling mouth filled with dagger like teeth. He whirled and pounced on the standing woman, slashing her across the neck as he continued to his next victim. Soon, all of the women in the room, save one, were dead. He snarled as he crept across the blood spattered room toward the last survivor, cowering in the corner. He leapt and grabbed her around the waist. She screamed and began beating on the monster's back. Her face frozen in horror, she suddenly regained her composure and her fists unflexed and straightened as she began firm, quick, rhythmic pats.

Suddenly, the beast emitted a tremendous belch and instantaneously metamorphosed into the drab man who had originally entered the room. He slumped to the floor, sobbing. "Oh, God! It's happened again!"

The woman crouched over the man, tears running down her face. "I'm sorry, honey. It's all my fault! For years, I've just wanted to be like all of the other women. With you away on your trip, I thought it would be okay, just this once...," her voice faded.

The man raised his face. "Nothing can ever be normal for you," he rasped, "not when you husband is a...

...Tupperwarewolf!"

One Day In Suburbia copyright 1999 by Paul Exton.